Today, the snow fell and it will forever make me feel like a child.

For me, it is one of the most amazing things I love to see happen. I puts me somewhere. Somewhere where things aren't crazy. The world quiets down for a while and innocence re-enters my life.

I went for a walk today and all I wanted to do was build a snowman, a fort or have a simple snowball fight. My mind wasn't on my debt, my current state or anything there about. It was clear and it was perfect. As I picked each foot up over and over and caught flakes as they landed on my tongue, I trudged through the snow and never, at any moment, did it seem like work. I was a kid again.

As I pulled my camera out to make pictures of the scene I was trying not to disturb, I melted into it. I sat down. Laying down, even. Not worrying about the fact that my cotton pants were slipping off my waist and the snow found its way down. I just did it and it was perfect. To watch the snow fall and land from a new angle removes all stress, anxiety and unhappiness you might be experiencing. Again, I was a kid.

When I returned back to the house, I brought with me a huge smile. I couldn't remove it. I literally just wanted to find someone to come out and play in the snow with me. Someone who wants to, for a moment, experience the possibility of the snowfall. I am sure that I will have a day where I could grab a hand and say 'let's go!' without any hesitation on their part. I might be 60 when it happens but I have a feeling it will happen. Don't know how, just do. It's one of those things, I suppose.

Unfortunately, as a few hours passed, cruddy thoughts slowly managed to show their face again. Some new and, of course, some old but they made their way in there. Reality (I hate that word) is that they are there and I must deal but as they worked their way in, I stared to the window and couldn't help but try to fixate on the inches of snow delicately landing and building up on the thin branches of the tree just outside. If I could have that view to fixate on all year, I might not need my weekly 'cry about my life' appointments. I could just look and imagine being a kid again where the snow on the ground made everything ok. Everything perfect.

I don't know what it is but the snow does something else for me. As I experience it and it brings me back to innocent times, it also melts my wall. Though momentarily, it takes away the block that I carry with me constantly and makes me feel lighter. Perhaps that is how I so easily go back to being a kid. There is no weight to bear for the moment. I can just be. Just stare and not think. Not worry. Not care. Of course, this is only as I am living in the snow world. Only for those moments. When all is said and done in the frozen scene, though the smile is wide across my face the wall comes right back.

I am so happy it does.