This morning, as I attempted to open my eyes and start my day, I caught a news story about a young boy who only 6 months ago his parents learned will most likely only make it to the age of 20.
A little while later, as I had the TV on as background noise, I was distracted by yet another story of a 27 yr old woman who when she was a teen was shot in the face. It left her disfigured and blind.
In both these stories, the 'victims' were smiling. They were happy and they were keeping their minds on the positive.
This leads to just a few days ago when I had a moment that is only caused by my condition. When it started, I had to sit down and wait for it to pass in hopes that it wouldn't lead to another episode. As soon as it passed, I'll admit, I threw a tantrum.
'Why me?!'
'Why do I have to deal with this?'
'I don't want to have to deal with this everyday!!'
Now, I feel like an ass.
I like to think that maybe not everything but most things in life do happen for a reason and as I have said, we won't always know the reason but there is one. Just as I woke up this morning after I tumultuous sleep, the first thing I see is a young boy who would be lucky to make it to his legal drinking age and then a girl who experienced something no one should have to go through and she is in love, with a son and though blind - she is smiling.
Ok, so I have a condition. One that I have to think about constantly. One that has me in constant fear and anxiety and here I am throwing a tantrum. Among these two people I learned about today, there is a guaranteed death sentence (hoping that can be changed) and permanent blindness (she doesn't even know what her son looks like!) but THEY ARE SMILING!
As I sit here, putting in to black and white the thoughts that I are in my head, I would like to say that I vow to NEVER throw a tantrum again or cry about the fact that I have to deal with this constantly but I will say that I will do my best to smile more and fear less.
