Skeletal and Emotional

The thoughts in my head are nonstop.

Seems as if they move in and set up shop.

As they do, I think about you.

Imagining smiles, laughs and even tears we might share.

I know, even now,

I could hold your hand,

place my heavy head on your shoulder

and be comforted by just your breathing

We started young,

sharing moments no one knew.

Just me and you

We were building a relationship so few find.

One that would be stronger than anything

I look at pictures,

Replay memories and

imagine the possible futures.

I realize it could still be.

Just with me

and

thats ok

I know you are still here.

I know you are

Your in my heart.

Your still my support

I will keep us going.

In just the way we would if your were sitting next to me

holding my hand

I will continue.

With you

and

your support

I think George Carlin said it best:

"It's all bullshit and it's bad for ya"

In recent weeks, I have come across some things in my life that (unfortunately) can only best be described as just that, bull shit.

People, situations, actions and the such.

In no way do I invite this crap into my life. In fact, I really want to give it a cookie and send it on it's way. However, it seems to find me and even though that is the case, I do my best to recognize the BS, stand tall and continue on in the best drama free way I know how. Surround myself with people, things and words that keep me in a drama free space. Even if all of that can be counted on less than five fingers.

Recently, as well, tears related to the past year or so of my life have also seemed to find me again and I have been lucky enough (or so it seems) to have ears willing to listen for the most part until, of course, some can't seem to remove themselves from the car or make a follow up phone call but I suppose that is par for the course. Can't win 'em all. Regardless, I have decided (as angry as those tears make me as they fall down my cheeks) to just let them go. If I keep them in the hollows, it will only tear me up inside and as much as I would like to stand tall, eventually I will crumble due to the ultimate lack of support. At the same time, I can't help but hear it over and over - "It's all bull shit and..."

So, after all the words I have spoken, all the tears that I have shed and all the sense I have attempted to make in recent time, I am going to keep moving. I have to, after all. It makes me sad and I think it is unfortunate that at times the choices you make in life will determine your support system but at the same time, it takes situations as such to find out who the real people - the real, true support you have in your life might be. Up until moments when you might be forced to make a life changing decision or you make one to simply protect yourself when no one else will, you might be thinking you have the world behind you who will hold your hand, listen to you and give you the tightest, longest and most assuring hug when you need it the most. Unfortunately, however, that won't be the case but (maybe not instantly) you will find those that, no matter what and whether they agree with you or not, will catch you when you fall, hug you when you need it, listen when cry and support you above all else.

Don't forget, though: "It's all bull shit and it's bad for ya"