I have always wondered about transition. How does it happen? When? What do I do? Recently, I've learned that it just happens. It just is what it is and sometimes you realize it and sometimes, not so much.
As these days go by, the thoughts in my mind have been transitioning from 'what the fuck am I going to do!?' to 'Ok, I got this.I'm going to be ok'. It happens at the oddest moments, too. When I am doing the dishes and rinsing the suds, a thought passes. As I sit and try to lose myself in the monotony that is TV, another thought makes its way. As I wake up, stretch and attempt to start a new day...well you get the idea.
It doesn't ever bother me, when these thoughts happen. It excites me, actually. Gives me a sense of hope. Don't get me wrong, just as my luck seems to go, as soon as I have a thought as such, I go to my mailbox and find a bill from traffic court for an unlawful speedometer (whatever that means). Does it blow up my happy moment? Sometimes, yes but I have been trying to lessen the amount of time I let it bother me. Who would have thought that being in control and taking care of yourself would require so much effort and work? Perhaps as time goes on, it won't.
Who knows.
