Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Alright, I admit it. I miss it. I miss having someone to come home to. I miss having someone to bounce things off of and someone to fall asleep on. I miss knowing that no matter what happens in my day, there will be someone to give me hug and tell me it will all be ok. These days, I have to pay someone to tell me it will all be ok and they don't even do that. I have to realize it on my own.

That's where I am in my life. On my own. It's a scary place and one that if I had the choice, I wouldn't be in this place. Well, wait, I guess you could say that I did have a choice but the way I see it, the choice has been made and this is just more like the consequences. Who ever liked consequences anyway?

I lay here and think about the nights I spent in his arms, some nights happy and content and others screaming for him to let go. Now I am laying here missing those arms to fall asleep in and wondering why I ever had those thoughts. I think that I am only having these thoughts simply because I am missing the option.
Perhaps I am being selfish.

Who knows.

I know I could never go back.

It's done.

We weren't in the right place together and perhaps not the right place apart either but that is what led to our demise.

I think.

I know it's for the best but I miss you and your arms.