When I was a child, I experienced something that, I can only hope, would cease some day. For a long time, I have been carrying it with me in hopes that it would just 'go away'. It hasn't and I have yet to accept it, though, I seem to be getting ever closer. I hope.

At the time, I thought that I was on top of the world. That nothing wrong could happen and that I was safe. Though I might not have necessarily been 'wrong' about feeling these things, they weren't really the feelings one might take out of a situation as such. What did I know? It has only been in recent months that I made the decision that what happened shouldn't have and I need to deal with it so I can finally put it behind me and move on.

So much easier said than done.

In my attempt, I have managed to drudge up some nasty feelings. Feelings that make me want to rewind time, put myself in a different place and try again. Everyone knows that can't happen but everyone also wishes they could from time to time. I know I have. Since that is not an option, I can only work through the nasty feelings that arise a bit at a time until all is said and done and I will only know this situation as the one in the heap behind me that I have moved on from.

I just wish there were some way to speed up the process but I suppose I should remind myself that, I have been holding on to this for at least 17 years so how could I imagine it could be dealt with in 17 minutes?

Patience, my child. Patience.