How do you heal a broken heart?

I wish there were a band-aid but I can't seem to find one big enough.

I wish there were a pill but I can't seem to find one strong enough.

I wish there were . . .

I wish I wasn't sitting here at this very moment with my head lying in my hands as I stare at my phone and it blinks telling me that I have 26 messages. 26 messages that have been blinking, waiting for me to press the button and find out who wants what from me. I can't though. I can't because as I sit here, staring at the phone, I can't keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks and landing on these buttons as I attempt to type.

My heart is broken. Broken for many reasons. This morning, I received a call that has caused nothing but more heartache in my already crushed heart. It was as if it was torn from my insides, stomped on and thrown in my face. Unfortunately, I fell for it. AGAIN.

To say I feel sad, angry and frustrated would be the worlds biggest understatement.

I am sad because I couldn't be the person I am not.

I am angry because I was trying to be molded into the person I am not.

I am frustrated because I can't separate the expectations of me from the person I am not.

More tears.

I am so incredibly tired of crying. I am tired of these tears. The ones that seem to be finished and the moment the voice comes through the phone, they come back in a second. Falling, streaming, rushing down my face. For what reason, I have yet to find out but they hurt. They hurt more than I could ever tell you.

I need to find that band-aid.

That pill.

My heart hurts, bad.

I want to be alright but I don't know how to rebuild a heart that is broken. Is there a book I can buy? How do you heal a broken heart? How do you come back from the pain of it all?

I hear the voice and I fall back into it all. The sadness, the anger, the frustration and most importantly - the betrayal. The betrayal of my trust.

. . .band-aid?

. . .pill?

No more trust.

No more pain.

No more broken heart.

That is the answer. Perhaps.