'Have you ever been in the mood for a sad song?'
Are you kidding? They have become the soundtrack of my life in the last 18 months or so. It is the main thing that has gotten me through the nonsense surrounding me thus far. I use them to think, I use them to (try) clear my head and yet, still other times, I get lost in them. I imagine my life down a different path, put myself back in my old life or wonder how I am going to take the current hand I have been dealt and make the right bet.
Repeat?
All the time.
I love to get lost in the words. For one, to know that I am not alone. Well, at least that other people have been here and know what I might be going through. Not that I would wish this on my worst enemy but life happens or so I have been told.
Repeat?
Again.
When I go over what used to be, I remember words that were spoken and promises that were made. Plans that were considered and goals that were set. Hands that were held and kisses that were stolen. Smiles that happened, laughs that were genuine and love that was made (and seemed like it could last forever).
Repeat?
Of course.
I think. I think about what was, what was supposed to be, what is and perhaps, what will be. Had I been asked at what now seems like so long ago, how I see my life playing out, I would have been able to give you a play by play that I was certain could have no diversion. Now, it is all different.
I am open to diversion.
In fact, I crave it.
Especially the ones that leave you with a smile to go to sleep with at night.
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