I often find myself thinking about people and why people do what they do. Now, I know that I have been told that I read into things too much but there is just something in me that wants to know 'why'. Quite possibly, most times that I 'read into things' there really is nothing there to find but, yet, I really feel in my heart that there is something else underneath the spoken words at times. Ironically, if and when there is, I never really find it out. Frustrating.

Regardless - today is another day filled with thoughts. What is going on? How did I get here? What is going to happen? Where can I find a hug? and so on...

I feel as though these thoughts just dance around in my head and tease me with the answers that never seem to come when I want them. Hell, sometimes, they don't come at all. Perhaps, I should try to be a little less demanding of the thoughts and learn to just notice them and wait for the answer to present itself....

Problem: I am impatient. 

"If emotions were candy, I would have the worst toothache ever."

I don't know where to put them. I don't know how to handle them except to keep moving. Keep moving - that is all anyone tells me and really, it is all I tell myself these days. Still, though, as you keep moving you can't ignore the fact that the emotions are there and they can get in the way. How does one work through them? Yeah, there are good days and then there are the bad days when you just want to hit something (at least I do). I guess you just take them as they come. Is that right? There really is no 'place' for them.

Just take them as they come and keep moving.

Who are you?

Where did you go?

I don't know this.

I don't know you.

I wonder how this could happen.

I wonder how the pain could run so deep. 

I loved you. 

I loved the person I knew. 

I don't know you.

I don't know this.

Children are incredible. Sometimes, I think that I have that thought simply because I don't have any of my own. Maybe true, maybe not. Regardless - I visited with two of my four nieces yesterday for a bit and I walked into the older of the two doing her version of karaoke. For one of the rare times these days - I smiled. It wasn't just a smile to force the cover up of the thoughts in my head but a real smile. For a moment, the thoughts were gone as I watched her try with her whole little self to make sure she got all the words she knew right. I was so proud of her. When she completed her version, I had to cheer her on and with that she begged mommie for another song to sing. 

I stayed for the remainder of the performance.